Disney Princes Go Camping
by DiscordantPrincess
Summary: Pretty much what the title says. The Disney princes go camping while their wives go to a spa for the weekend. Rated for some impolite language later on.
1. Rapunzel Takes Off

**Hey, guys, hey! What is up, my peeps? Ready for a brand new story? Well, here it is!**

"Are you sure you'll be all right by yourself for the weekend, Eugene?" Rapunzel asked her husband as she packed her bag. She was getting ready for a spa weekend with her fellow princesses.

"Trust me, Blondie, I'll be fine," Flynn assured his wife, calling her by his special pet name for her, despite the fact that her hair was now short and brown rather than the seventy-foot mass of gold it had been when they met. "It's only three days. Besides, if I got lonely I could always hang out with the other princes, right?"

Rapunzel shot him a dirty look. "Just don't do anything crazy, all right? I don't want a repeat of last year's Christmas Eve stag party."

"Hey, in my defense, I didn't know that Aladdin had spiked the egg nog," Flynn replied. "And besides, Professor Ratigan was pretty cool about me hijacking his dirigible."

"COOL about it? He was practically foaming at the mouth! He stomped right up to Mickey and demanded restitution! There were threats of a LAWSUIT!"

"A little bit of an overreaction, in my humble opinion."

"Eugene, you crashed the dirigible into the Serengeti Safari attraction," Rapunzel reminded her husband. "The crocodiles tore it to shreds! We were lucky they didn't tear YOU up, too!" She started to hyperventilate. "What if next time we're NOT so lucky? I don't want the police to find your remains in a crocodile's belly! I'm too young to be a widow!" She gasped. "Maybe I shouldn't go. I can still call Cindy on her cell and tell her to cancel..."

Flynn grasped his wife by the shoulders. "Rapunzel, calm down. You are NOT cancelling your weekend with your friends. You girls have been planning this thing for weeks, and I am not about to let you blow them off all because of some stupid stunt that I pulled when I got drunk."

Rapunzel sucked in her breath. "OK. Just PLEASE, promise me that if you hang out with the guys that you won't do anything stupid."

"Oh, Blondie..."

"PLEASE, Eugene." She looked up at him with big, pleading green eyes, filled with a mix of desperation and seriousness.

Flynn groaned and held up his right hand, placing his left hand on his heart. "Fine, fine. I, Eugene Levi Fitzherbert, solemnly swear on Walt Disney's grave that I will not do anything stupid while you're at the spa with your princess friends." He gave her an annoyed look. "Satisfied?"

Rapunzel squealed and hugged her husband in such a tight manner, Flynn would've sworn that he was being constricted by Kaa. "Thank you." Just then, she heard a car horn honking. "Oh, they're here!" She grabbed her bag. "Bye, Eugene!" She kissed him on the lips, then darted out the door to Cinderella's extra-large pumpkin coach, where the nine other princesses were waiting for her. "Hi, girls!"

"Hi, Punzie, we're mighty glad that you're comin' with us," Tiana greeted the newest princess.

"Yes, it'll be a wonderful weekend!" Belle agreed.

Aurora rolled her eyes. "I STILL think we shouldn't have invited the new girl." This earned her an elbow in the ribs from Snow White. "Aurora, be nice."

Flynn smiled and watched as his wife took off with her friends. Then, he headed back inside their house. "Time to call up the boys." He picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hey, Al, Flynn here. Blondie just left. Tell the guys to come by my place at eight. It's gonna be a stag weekend!"

**Hoo boy, looks like Flynn's got some wild plans...and yes, I know that by the end of the movie he starts going by Eugene again, but the movie credits STILL list him as Flynn, so I'm going with that, too. Besides, when it comes to names, IMHO Flynn Rider is SO much better than Eugene Fitzherbert, mostly because it just seems to be the better name for a handsome, sexy, roguish thief...yeah, is it obvious that I have a little bit of a fangirl crush on him?**

**Originally this was going to be an exchange between Belle and Adam (the Beast's human name) seeing as they're my favorite Disney princess/prince couple, but after rereading it, I thought it might be better suited as a Rapunzel/Flynn dialogue, mostly because of Rapunzel's mini-freakout (c'mon, watch the scene where she flips between joy for being outside and guilt for "betraying" Mother Gothel and TELL me you didn't get an overreactor vibe from it) and Flynn's snarkiness. Yeah, I like snarky guys, what can I say?**

**Yes, you read correctly. Flynn stole RATIGAN'S dirigible while drunk. To say that that was a big mistake would be the understatement of the freakin' century...Flynn's lucky Ratti didn't go full-blown psycho on him and start beating the living crap out of him! As to how Flynn was able to fit into it...read my previous Disney story Disney Villain Island, mainly the last chapter, for an explanation. **

**I know I'm probably going to get some hate for having Aurora make that bitchy comment, but out of all the princesses, she's my least favorite so naturally I'd make HER the bitch of the group. I know most people bash Snow White, but really, Aurora was ten times worse IMO. She had the personality of a cucumber (a REAL cucumber, not like Larry the Cucumber from "Veggie Tales"), and she spends, like, half of her screentime asleep! At least Snowie DID some crap before she was poison appled! **

** Just a little FYI, Flynn's middle name being Levi is a shout-out to his voice actor, Zachary Levi...Actor Allusions FTW! **

**What will happen with our princes? Gotta read more to find out!**

**_Muchas gracias, mis amigos_!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	2. While the Wife's Away

**Hey, guys! Hope you're ready for a brand new chapter! **

As the princesses rode the carriage to the spa, they had a great time. They chatted, laughed and sang. However, Rapunzel was quiet most of the way. Part of her was still worried about leaving Flynn by himself.

"Rapunzel, are you all right?" Belle asked. "You seem distracted about something."

Rapunzel shook her head, breaking herself out of her thoughts. "What? Oh, yeah, I'm OK. I guess I'm just a little worried about leaving Eugene alone."

"Because of the Christmas Eve party?" Pocahontas guessed.

Rapunzel nodded. "I know I should trust Eugene, and mostly I DO, and I know he never would have done anything stupid if he were sober, but still, stealing from one of the worst-tempered villains in Disney history..." She shuddered. "And what if Eugene had taken something from one of the MAGICAL villains? Like Jafar, or Ursula, or even..." She gulped. "...MALEFICENT?"

The other princesses shuddered. Maleficent had definitely proven time and time again that she deserved the title "Mistress of All Evil" for her many malicious and rather petty acts, from cursing Aurora to an early death for being snubbed an invitation to her christening, to turning one of the Disney World gardeners into a squirrel for overwatering the thornbushes on her property. One could only imagine the horrors she'd put Flynn through if he ever did anything as idiotic as the stunt he'd pulled on Ratigan (something the evil fairy was not too thrilled about anyhow, seeing as she and the professor were dating.)

"Don't worry, Rapunzel, Flynn will be fine," Ariel replied. "Like you said, you just have to trust him."

"And besides, he's got all of our husbands for company," Cinderella added. "I'm sure they can all keep him in line."

* * *

"...and that, gentlemen, is what is known as a royal flush."

The princes had all gathered at Flynn and Rapunzel's and were playing poker. Flynn had just won another round, making the others groan in disappointment.

"Damn, Flynn, you're on fire tonight," John Smith commented.

Flynn shrugged. "What can I say, Johnny boy? Lady Luck loves me."

Emile, known better as Prince Charming, hung his head. "Cindy's going to be PISSED when she learns I just lost her glass slipper in a poker game."

"You think THAT'S bad?" Naveen asked. "I just lost half of Tiana's best silverware! When she finds out, she is going to have my HEAD!"

Flynn shuffled the cards. "Who's up for another game?"

"No way," Adam refused. "I'm stopping while I still have some pride left."

"Same here," Ferdinand agreed. The others nodded.

"Fine, fine, I can take a hint," Flynn replied, scooping up his winnings.

"So...now what do we do?" Phillip asked.

The princes were all silent as they thought of what they could do. Just then, Aladdin came up with something. "I know...we could go camping."

"CAMPING?" the others replied in unison.

"What is this CAMPING you speak of?" Naveen asked.

"Well, remember in Mulan, when Shang had his soldiers sleep in tents and do outdoor activities?" Aladdin asked. The Maldonian prince nodded. "That's pretty much camping."

"That's a GREAT idea, Al!" John replied. "I've always LOVED going out into the wilderness. That's why I became an explorer."

"I've never been camping when it didn't involve training soldiers," Shang commented. "It WOULD be a fun experience."

"I'm game, as long as we camp somewhere near the water," Eric added. "I've always loved water."

"That explains why you married the Princess of the Sushi People," Flynn muttered snarkily. Eric shot him an angry look. "I mean, Ariel's a great gal, and really pretty...great body...not that I've ever LOOKED at her body...I mean, of course I've LOOKED at it, since I've seen her and all...ah, damn it."

"Better quit while you're behind, Flynn," John suggested. Flynn nodded.

"So what do you say, guys?" Aladdin asked. "Are you up for it?"

The other princes all nodded and smiled in agreement. "Great!" Flynn replied. "Tomorrow, first thing in the morning, we head out camping!"

**And the plot thickens! Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUN!**

**Methinks Maleficent would have a reputation amongst all the Disney characters of being a badass fairy with a tendency to perform Disproportionate Retributions. It just seems to fit her, seeing as she cursed a baby to die via spindle pricking ALL BECAUSE THE BABY'S DUMBASS PARENTS DIDN'T INVITE HER TO THEIR STINKING PARTY! Then again, no one ever said that evil people were reasonable. **

**Yes, all the Disney characters live at Walt Disney World in my stories...because Disney World is awesome. I went there a few summers ago, even staying at the Wilderness Lodge on the Disney World grounds, and I had a blast. As for Disneyland, I haven't been there since I was, like, five, so I have very, VERY vague memories of it, but I'm sure it's awesome, too!**

**Before anyone says anything, yes, I know that in the second Pocahontas movie, the writers decided to go the historically accurate route and have Pocahontas end up with John Rolfe...well, in my own crazy fangirl world, THAT NEVER HAPPENED! Screw historical accuracy, Poca was meant to be with John Smith! That's why I almost never consider Disney direct-to-video sequels to be canon...except for the Aladdin sequels, the Lion King sequels, and the Lilo & Stitch sequels, those were all really good. And Forte from Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, if only because Tim Curry. **

**What will happen to our princes when they go camping? Gotta read more to find out!**

**Thanks for reading! Please R&R, but please no flames, all flames will be used for firebending.**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	3. Neighborly Confrontation

**Hey howdy hey, peeps! Well, here it is, the next chapter of "Disney Princes Go Camping!" Yay!**

The next morning, Flynn was packing up his camping gear in the front lawn. As he tried to tighten the strap on his duffel bag, his canteen fell out and rolled away. "Hey, get back here!" He chased after the canteen, which rolled into the next yard and bumped into a man's black shoes. Flynn gulped as he recognized the shoes. He slowly looked up to see the man wearing the shoes...a tall, muscular man with neatly-trimmed black hair, amber-colored eyes and gray five-o-clock shadow, wearing a gray vest, a black jacket, black pants, a black and red cape, a pink and purple striped cravat, white gloves and a black top hat.

Flynn chuckled nervously. "H-Hi, Professor R. Nice day, huh?"

Professor Ratigan glared at the younger man. "Mr. Fitzpatrick..."

"My last name is Fitzherbert, actually."

"Whatever." Ratigan picked up the canteen that had hit his feet. "I suppose THIS is yours?" He shoved it into Flynn's hands.

"Um, thanks?" Flynn replied, smiling sheepishly. The former rodent professor just glared at him. "Aw, c'mon, Professor, you're not still sore about last Christmas Eve, are you?"

"You crashed my dirigible into the crocodile pit," Ratigan responded. "You were responsible for theft, driving while intoxicated AND destruction of private property, so yes, I AM still sore about last Christmas Eve."

"Hey, I made it up to you."

"Presenting me with a pile of wood and canvas and offering to write a check is not "making it up to me," Mr. Fitzsimmons."

"FitzHERBERT."

"Whatever. Do you have any idea how much I paid for the materials? How long I spent BUILDING the damned thing? How much WORK it was? No, because all YOU had to do was marry a pretty little princess, and all of your problems were gone! You heroes have it too damned easy." Ratigan paused. "Speaking of princesses, where IS your stomach-churningly sweet wife today?"

"RAPUNZEL left yesterday for a spa weekend with her fellow princess friends," Flynn answered, emphasizing his wife's name to show how he took offense to Ratigan's demeaning description of her.

"Oh, wonderful, you're alone for the weekend," Ratigan groaned sarcastically. "What are you going to do THIS time, eh? Get drunk again and bathe in my fountain?"

"For your information, I'm going on a camping trip with the other princes," Flynn replied smugly. "As soon as they get here, you won't have to see me for the rest of the weekend."

"Good. I hope you get mauled by a bear." Just then, a large carriage pulled up, with the other princes inside. "There's your ride. Goodbye, Mr. Fitzgerald."

Flynn ignored the deliberate mangling of his last name. He grabbed his duffel bag and heaved it over his shoulder. "Have a nice weekend, Professor Harrigan."

"Ratigan."

Flynn shrugged. "Whatever." He walked triumphantly to the carriage and got in. Then, the princes pulled away, starting their weekend together.

**Ooh, BURN! Well, that's Flynn for you; dealing with evil, bitter neighbors...like a BAWSS! **

**I hope y'all enjoyed the little Ratigan cameo, especially FairyTales And Pixie Dust, who requested it a while back. Here you go, hon! As to how he became a human rather than the rat-er, big mouse he was in the movie...again, read "Disney Villain Island," and all your questions shall be answered...well, not ALL of them, just this one.**

**OK, next chap, the princes go camping for reals, I promise! Please R&R!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess. **


	4. The Campsite

**Hola, amigos! Well, here it is, the next chapter of "Disney Princes Go Camping." Enjoy!**

"Whoo, dodged a bullet there!" Flynn sighed as he sat next to Naveen.

"Neighbor trouble again?" John guessed. Flynn nodded. "I don't get it, Flynn. If you and Ratigan hate each other's guts so much, why don't you move?"

"I tried talking to Mickey about it, but he says that we can't change houses unless someone else wants to trade houses, and long story short no one wants to live next to a villain." Flynn sighed. "But enough about neighbor issues, you guys psyched for camping?"

"You bet!" Naveen replied. "This will be my first time camping."

"You've NEVER been camping before, Naveen?" Adam asked.

"Maldonia is a very small country that is mostly cities and towns," Naveen explained. "There wasn't a lot of camping land, and even if there had been, my parents would not have let me go out and sleep in the wilderness, at least not without some of our servants."

"Wow, growing up with servants and a castle...life must've been pretty sweet!" Aladdin responded.

"Not really," Naveen replied. "Growing up I never had any real friends, and up until I met Tiana I really didn't know how to do anything for myself." He sighed. "As much as I hate that Shadow Man, turning me into a frog helped me grow up. In a way, my villain helped me become a better person." He paused. "OK, that sounded a little weird."

* * *

So the princes chatted and laughed as they rode to the wilderness. After a bit, they arrived to their camping area. "Well, here we are, gentlemen!" Flynn showed them. "What do you think?" The other princes looked out and gasped. Their camping area was beautiful, with a big lake next to it for Eric.

"Ashidanza!" Naveen exclaimed.

"Flynn, this is AWESOME!" Aladdin spoke up. "How did you find this place?"

"I know a guy who knows a park ranger," Flynn answered as he grabbed his duffel bag. "Now let's get to setting up a kickass campsite!"

So the princes started setting up. Each had their jobs to do. Ferdinand and Emile gathered wood for fires, Phillip and Eric fetched some water from the lake, Adam and Aladdin set out the camp chairs, John and Shang set up the tents, and Naveen and Flynn set up the sleeping bags. After some time, the campsite was complete.

"Now THAT'S what I call a kickass campsite!" Flynn stated. "Now what should we do?"

"Go swimming!" Eric suggested.

"Why am I not surprised that you'd say that?" Flynn groaned.

"I think we should go hiking," John spoke up.

"Yeah, I like that idea," Shang agreed.

"OK, let's vote on it," Flynn officiated. "Whoever wants to go swimming, BESIDES ERIC, raise your hand." No one did. "OK, all those for hiking?" Everyone's hand except for Eric's went up. "Hiking it is." Eric looked bummed. "And THEN we'll go swimming, once we're all sweaty and hot and want to cool down. Sound fair, Eric?" The Danish prince nodded. "Great! Now let's go!"

**Yeeeeeeeeah...admittingly, not my best chapter ever. I have some trouble with pacing and such. Oh well, I never pretended to be a professional!**

**Poor Eric, all he wants to do is go swimming...I apologize if the whole Eric-having-a-thing-for-water subplot is getting boring, I just thought it might be funny.**

**Thanks for bearing with my kinda lame chap here, folks! Next chap will be about 20% funnier, I promise!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	5. The Hike from Hell

**Hello, everyone! Sorry it's taken me so long to update the story, but I was trying to figure out how to make this the funniest it could be, and my muse had abandoned me for a short time...darn muse! Oh, well, hope you enjoy!**

The princes all packed up their backpacks and started on their hike through the woods. Flynn led the way, and all of the princes followed in a straight line, with Eric dead last, still pouting over his swimming idea being vetoed.

"This is pretty nice, huh?" Flynn asked. "Hey, look, a bird!"

"A northern mockingbird, to be precise," John added. "The state bird of Florida."

Flynn eyed the blonde-haired explorer amusedly. "When did YOU become Mr. Animal Expert?"

John shrugged. "Pocahontas taught me the names of all the animals and plants of Florida AND Virginia, and how to identify them. She's very in tune to nature."

Just then, there was a cry of "OW! Dammit!" The princes turned to see Aladdin facefirst on the ground. "What happened, Al?" Flynn asked as he and Adam helped the Arabian prince back onto his feet.

"I tripped on some stupid rock and cut my foot," Aladdin explained. He pointed to the small bleeding cut on his left foot.

"This is why you should always wear shoes," Adam explained as Flynn fixed up Aladdin's cut and bandaged it.

"Hilarious, coming from the guy who didn't wear shoes for ten years," Aladdin snarked.

"Hey, they didn't make shoes that fit beast paws, OK?" Adam shot back.

"There, you're all set," Flynn spoke up. "Now let's go on." They started off again.

"I'm hungry," Naveen commented after a minute, rubbing his grumbling stomach.

"So dig into your backpack and find something to eat," Flynn told him.

"I did not pack any food in my backpack," Naveen responded.

"WHAT? Why the heck not?" Flynn asked.

"I thought food would be provided."

Flynn smacked his hand against his face. "Geez, Naveen, what did you think, food was going to fall out of the sky?"

Naveen shrugged. "Hey, it happened for the Israelites in the desert for forty years, it could happen for us in the Florida wilderness for three days."

"It's OK, Naveen, over there are some berries," John told the Maldonian prince. "You can pick a handful and eat those."

"Sounds good to me." Naveen went over to a bush that had plump red berries growing on it, picked some and ate them. "Mmm, delicious." Once he'd eaten his fill, the princes took off again.

After a bit, Shang tripped on a root and landed facefirst on the ground. "Stupid root." Then, he noticed that he had landed a few feet away from an angry-looking skunk. "Oh, no." He tried to get out of the way, but the skunk sprayed him before he could move fast enough. Shang coughed.

The other princes smelled the skunk on Shang and reacted. "Oh, falthi-faldonza, that reeks!" Naveen commented.

"You just HAD to get into a skunk nest, didn't you, Shang?" John asked, holding his nose. "Good thing we packed some tomato juice in case of such an emergency."

"Did we also happen to pack any indigestion medications?" Naveen asked. "I think those red berries you told me to eat went bad."

"RED berries?" John asked. "I was pointing to the BLUE berries. The RED berries will make you sick."

Naveen groaned and clutched his belly. "I have news for you, my friend...they already ARE making me sick!"

"Oh, geez, we better get Naveen back to the campsite," John suggested, grabbing hold of the sick prince. "I have some herbal remedies back there that Pocahontas taught me. They'll help get rid of your stomachache."

"OK, we're heading back," Flynn replied.

"Does that mean we can go swimming NOW?" Eric asked.

"SHUT UP, ERIC!" the other princes told him in unison. And so they all hiked back to their campsite, unaware that their troubles were just beginning.

**Poor Eric, all he wants to do is swim! XD**

**Ah, Naveen, you crazy naive boy you, why do I love you so gosh darn much?! Probably because he's so sexy! Even as a frog!**

**Yeah, if it's not obvious enough, this is where things start to go bad for our princes...and hilarious for us, LOL! Why is it so much fun to watch other people being miserable? I blame schaudenfreude! **

**Thanks for reading, y'all! Hope to see you soon for more!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	6. More Camping Chaos

**_Bonjour, mes amies_! Hope you're all ready for a brand new chapter of "Disney Princes Go Camping!" Here you go!**

The princes made their way back to their campsite. Once there, John lay Naveen in his bunk and mixed up some herbs that he kept in his duffel bag. Then, he mixed them with some water and gave it to Naveen, who drank it. "There you go. Feel better?"

Naveen nodded as he sat up. "Much. Thank you, my friend."

Eric frowned and grabbed his bathing suit. "Screw you guys. I'm going swimming." He ran off to the lake.

Flynn smacked his hand against his face in a facepalm. "Phillip, go after him to make sure he doesn't kill himself."

"Yes, sir," Phillip agreed. He dashed off after the Danish prince.

"Hold still, Shang!" Ferdinand told the Chinese general. He and Emile were stripping him down and trying to rub tomato juice on his skin to negate the skunk stench. However, Shang, being a master of fighting, knocked them both away from him.

"Do you WANT to smell like a skunk for the rest of your life?" Emile asked as he got back onto his feet.

"No, but do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to get naked in front of a bunch of other men?" Shang asked.

"This coming from the guy who took his shirt off in front of a whole bunch of soldiers, PLUS a chick disguised in drag," Aladdin retorted.

"Hey, I didn't know Mulan was a girl then, OK?" Shang asked. "And there's a difference between taking your shirt off in front of other men and stripping down to nothing! And who are YOU to talk? All you wear is a vest!"

Flynn sighed. "Calm down, calm down, we'll all turn away and let you do it yourself, does that sound good?" Shang nodded. "OK." The others all turned away from Shang and waited for him to rub tomato juice on himself and redress. "All right, you can look now." They turned to see him still covered in red juice. "I think it worked. I don't smell like a skunk anymore."

Aladdin sniffed. "You're right. Now you smell like a skunk in a spaghetti sauce factory."

"Aladdin's right," Adam agreed. "You're making me hungry for pasta."

Just then, Phillip came back, dragging an unconscious Eric with him. "Oh my Allah, what happened to him?" Aladdin asked as they all gathered around to help Eric.

"He started drowning," Phillip explained as he lay him on his back. "I ran in and dragged him out. I would've done CPR, but I don't know how to do it!"

"Let me," John offered. He knelt down next to Eric. First, he plugged his nose with his fingers and breathed into his mouth twice. Then, he pressed down on his chest thirty times. He repeated the process until Eric coughed and woke up.

"Eric, what the heck happened to you, man?" Aladdin asked.

"I don't know, usually I'm a really good swimmer," Eric responded.

"By any chance, is Ariel usually with you whenever you swim?" Naveen asked.

"Yes, why?" Then, Eric realized what he was saying. "Oh." He turned to Phillip. "Thanks for saving me, Phil."

"You're welcome, but it wasn't easy," Phillip replied. "I had to run in, drag you out of the lake and drag you back to the campsite."

"Looks like that's not the ONLY thing you dragged out of the lake there, Phil," John noted. Phillip eyed him confusedly, then shrieked when he noticed that he had a leech on his chest. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" John went up to him and pulled the leech off, then threw it to the ground and stomped on it. "Thank you."

"OK, between skunks and poisoned berries and near drowning and leeches, I think we've had a pretty full day," Flynn commented. "What say we turn in for the night?"

"Flynn, it's not even noon yet," John reminded him.

"I was hoping to end the day early before anything ELSE could happen," Flynn sighed.

**Oh geez, our princes are certainly facing a lot of chaos, aren't they? I think I know who's behind that (glares at Discord)**

**Discord: Oh sure, blame Discord. Talk about profiling! You know, I don't cause EVERY instance of chaos in your silly little fanfics, Princess. **

**No, but nine times out of ten, you do. **

**Discord: (eyes me for a second) Fair enough.**

**OK, back to our regularly scheduled Author's Note:**

**Poor Eric...he finally gets to swim, and he almost drowns. This is why he has a mermaid for a wife, folks!**

**John Smith: nature expert, herbalist, and now life saver. Methinks this guy's had some survivalist training (and yes, that IS how you perform CPR, I should know, I'm registered to administer it!) **

**Next chap, the craziness continues! Can our princes survive it all? Read to find out!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	7. Spa Ladies

**Hey, guys! Sorry it's taken me this long to post a new chapter, I've been trying to figure out where I want this story to go. Oh well, while I figure out where I want our princes to end up, enjoy some filler! ****Quite a few of you guys have asked me to do a bit of what the princesses are doing at the spa while their hubbies are having their camping weekend. Well, here you go!**

Meanwhile, at Fairest of All Spa, the princesses were enjoying being pampered. At one point, they were getting facials. Rapunzel eyed the bowl of cucumber slices with confusion, then shrugged and started eating some.

"Um, Rapunzel, those aren't for eating, dear," Pocahontas told her gently. "Those are to put over your eyes to reduce puffiness."

"Oh," Rapunzel replied with a mouthful of cucumber. "Sorry." She swallowed.

Aurora rolled her eyes. "Typical newbie behavior. I'll bet she does even know how to brush her HAIR, seeing how it's such a rat's nest." Rapunzel overheard her and started tearing up.

"Shut up, Aurora," Belle told the golden-haired princess. "God, why do always have to be such a bitch to every new princess? The whole reason Kida refused to join our club was because she got fed up with your crap and was pissed that Mickey wouldn't let her kill you!"

"Well, excuse ME for trying to have a higher standard for princesses than a CGI ragamuffin," Aurora snorted.

Belle glared hazel daggers at Aurora. "You know, Aurora, you of all people should know how Rapunzel feels. You also were raised in the wilderness away from your family and your kingdom, not knowing who you really were until the Good Fairies told you. And at least unlike YOU, Rapunzel took action in her life. She made a deal with Flynn, she explored the world, she fought her villain. All YOU did was sing, dance with an owl and prick your finger on a spindle. Compared to you, Rapunzel is Princess of the Year. And if you can't appreciate that, then maybe YOU'RE not much of a princess at all." With that, she got up and left the room. One by one, the other princesses joined her, leaving Aurora by herself, on the verge of tears.

* * *

Later, the nine princesses were lounging in the sauna, wrapped in different colored towels; Snow White wore red, Cinderella had blue, Ariel had light blue, Belle wore yellow, Jasmine had turquoise, Pocahontas wore orange, Mulan had light green, Tiana wore dark green and Rapunzel wore purple.

As they lounged, Rapunzel turned to Belle. "Hey, Belle, thanks for sticking up for me back there."

Belle smiled. "My pleasure, Rapunzel. It was about time somebody stood up to Aurora."

"I heard that," Tiana agreed.

"You said it, sister," Mulan replied.

"What a bitch," Jasmine groaned.

"Did she act that mean to you girls when you became princesses?" Rapunzel asked.

"Oh, yeah," Ariel confirmed. "She was a bitch to all of us, except for Snow White and Cinderella, but that's only because they came before she did."

"You should've seen how mean she was to me and Pocahontas when we joined," Mulan spoke up. "She kept screaming that we weren't really princesses. Newsflash, lady: Pocahontas' father is the chief of their tribe, so she IS a princess! Hell, the freaking tribe is NAMED for him!"

"So, why are YOU considered a princess, Mulan?" Rapunzel asked. "No offense, but you weren't born a princess, and you didn't marry a prince."

Mulan shrugged. "I don't know. Because the fans like me, I guess."

"You can't take it personally, sugar," Tiana told the newest princess. "Some people just don't do well with new people."

"I guess," Rapunzel sighed.

Just then, Aurora came into the sauna, wrapped in a pink towel. The others ignored her. She frowned and sat down next to Rapunzel. "Look, Rapunzel, I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I got a little jealous because what Belle said was right; you essentially ARE a more well-developed version of me."

"Then how do you explain your bitchiness towards the REST of us?" Jasmine demanded.

"I don't know! I get jealous of newcomers, OK? It started when Ariel joined and Snow White and Cinderella flocked to her to make her feel welcome. I got jealous because I wanted that attention again, so I started being mean to her and never stopped." She hung her head. "I apologize to all of you."

Rapunzel smiled and hugged Aurora. "It's OK, Aurora." One by one, the other princesses joined in the hug until all ten of them were in one massive group cuddle.

Just then, two guys in towels came in and howled. "Half-naked babes in a group hug," one of them described it. "I think our fantasies just came true, Ben."

The princesses all glared at them. "KILL THE PERVERTS!" Mulan declared, pulling out her sword from hammer space. The guys both screamed and ran out of the sauna, making the princesses laugh.

"Oh, I just hope our husbands are having as much fun as we are," Rapunzel sighed.

**Aww, how sweet! The princesses made up! Too bad those two sickos had to ruin the moment! And no, those guys aren't supposed to be anyone in particular, they're just too random perverts that are never going to turn up again.**

**I apologize to any Aurora fans out there, I just do not like her. Like I said before, she's boring, she's dull, she's bland, she's got the personality of a hair dryer, all she's got going for her is she's pretty and she sings nice! Not necessarily traits that would qualify you for princesshood nowadays, am I right?**

**OK, if anyone out there can explain to me why Mulan is considered a princess OTHER than the fact that she's popular, please do so. I mean, I love Mulan and everything, but I've never understood why she's on the princess roster. **

**Stay tuned next time to see how the princes are doing (methinks they ain't doing so hot, hee hee!)**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	8. The Storm

**Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay in updating...I was trying to figure out where I wanted the story to go after the spa chap, but I think I have it down now. Enjoy!**

"I HATE THIS STUPID CAMPING TRIP!" Naveen screamed at the top of his lungs.

It was later that afternoon. Several more chaotic things had happened to the princes, including Emile getting stung by a bee, Ferdinand sitting in a fire ant hill, and realizing that something had gotten into their food.

"Calm down, Naveen," Flynn tried to reason with the Maldonian prince.

"No, I will not calm down! Ever since we arrived on this cursed site, nothing but nonstop horrors has happened to us! Aladdin cutting his foot, Shang getting skunked, Eric almost drowning, me nearly getting poisoned by those stupid berries…"

"Hey, don't blame the berries for YOU being stupid enough to eat them!" John interrupted. "If you had listened to me and eaten the right berries…"

"Oh shut up, tree hugger!" Naveen shot back.

"No, John is right," Eric defended the British explorer. "You ARE stupid! In fact, you must be the stupidest prince EVER! Who else would be dumb enough to listen to one of the most obvious villains ever and get himself turned into a frog?"

"Well at least I didn't marry a fish!" Naveen retorted.

That did it. All of the princes started yelling at each other and grabbing at each other, fighting and punching and kicking and biting.

Suddenly, there was a rumble of thunder in the sky. The princes looked up as it began to pour. They all looked at each other.

Just then, Naveen started laughing. After a minute, Flynn started laughing with him. Then Aladdin, then John, then Eric…soon, all ten of the princes were laughing their heads off.

"Oh Allah, this has pretty much been the worst weekend of my life," Aladdin commented.

"Yeah, but at the same time it's been the most fun," Adam agreed.

"What say we just head back to Disney World while we still have SOME pride left?" Flynn suggested.

"I am all for that, my friend," Naveen agreed. The others nodded in agreement.

So the princes gathered back into the carriage and headed back to Disney World.

* * *

"Remember, guys, the wives NEVER find out about this weekend, agreed?" Flynn asked.

"Agreed," the other nine responded in unison. They all put their hands in the middle one at a time, then pulled them back.

Flynn was the first one to end up home. He grabbed his duffel bag and held it over his head as a makeshift umbrella, then ran for the front door of his house.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Fitzherbert," a distinguished female voice greeted him from the direction of Ratigan's house. Flynn turned to see a green-skinned woman with yellow eyes, wearing a black robe with purple and red trim and a black horned hat standing in the yard.

"Oh, hey, Maleficent," Flynn greeted the Mistress of all Evil. "Visiting the professor today?"

"Yes, I am." Maleficent didn't even smile once. "What are YOU doing here? Padraic told me that you and the other princes were camping this weekend."

Flynn chuckled. "Well, we WERE, but then THIS happened." He pointed to the downpour.

Maleficent smirked amusedly. "How like a hero. You get spooked by a little shower. I LOVE the rain. Very miserable and damp."

Flynn made a face. "Okaaaay, a little freaky…ah, whatever, gotta get inside before I catch my death of cold."

"Sounds delightful," Maleficent replied. "MUCH more delightful than getting stabbed in the chest with a magic sword…be sure to thank Prince Phillip for that next time you see him."

"Will do. See ya, crazy bitch." Flynn ran inside to get out of the rain.

Maleficent smiled, then turned to her boyfriend, who had just come up to her. "You're right, it IS fun to tease your neighbors. I'm more the blast-them-to-oblivion type myself, but this is fun too."

"What'd I tell you?" Ratigan asked.

**Have you ever had one of those days where everything went completely wrong, yet it ends up being the most fun you've ever had? No? Me neither, actually!**

**Hope you enjoyed the little inset with Maleficent! Just wanted to bring her in to show that she and Ratti are still an item from "Disney Villain Island"...and that both she and her boyfriend have a sadist streak to them, LOL!**

**Final chapter up soon! Please R&R!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


	9. Rapunzel's Return

**Hello, peeps! Well, here it is, the final chapter of "Disney Princes Go Camping." Enjoy!**

It was Sunday afternoon. The princesses were on their way back from the spa. Flynn had since cleaned up around the house and given back the treasures that he had earned from playing poker to the other princes. And he was at the door waiting for Rapunzel.

"I see you've cleaned yourself up from your little camping fiasco last night." Flynn jumped and looked over to see Ratigan standing in his yard. "What are YOU doing here? Come to greet Rapunzel, too?"

"No, I just wanted to see the look on her face when she finds out that you went on a little excursion with your friends while she was gone," Ratigan replied.

"She's not GONNA find out, smart guy," Flynn replied. "The other princes and I swore to secrecy that none of the wives would find out about this weekend."

"Yes, but **I** didn't make such a promise, now did I?" Ratigan grinned evilly.

"You wouldn't DARE!" Flynn replied.

"Newsflash, pretty boy: I'm a VILLAIN. There's almost NOTHING that a villain wouldn't do in order to make other people's lives miserable."

Flynn started to panic. "Oh, PLEASE, man, please, don't tell Rapunzel. Please, please, PLEASE!" He got down on his knees and continued pleading up until he saw the princesses' carriage pull up to his house. "Oh boy." He gulped and got to his feet, walking over to greet his wife. "Hey there, Blondie. I really missed ya, kiddo."

Rapunzel smiled and gave her husband a kiss on the lips. "Hi, Eugene. How was the weekend for you? Was it eventful?"

"EVENTFUL? Oh, no, no, just a regular weekend, hanging out with the guys, eating pizza, drinking root beer, that kind of stuff." Flynn coughed to clear his throat as he pushed his wife towards their house. "So, how was YOUR weekend? I want to hear all about it!"

Rapunzel eyed him oddly. "What's wrong, Eugene? You're acting a little antsy. Did you do something bad with the guys while I was gone?"

"What? No, no, not one thing," Flynn lied.

"You got drunk and snuck onto Professor Ratigan's property again, didn't you?" Rapunzel asked.

"HECK no! Doing that once was stupid enough, doing it twice would be…well, it would be pretty much suicide," Flynn replied nervously.

"Then you won't mind if I get some validation." Rapunzel broke away from her husband and walked over to where Ratigan was standing. "Excuse me, Professor, but was Eugene up to any drunken shenanigans on your property while I was gone?" Flynn gulped, expecting the villain to blab.

"Why, no, Mrs. Fitzherbert," Ratigan responded. "Your husband was completely quiet and civil this weekend. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would've sworn that he wasn't here at all."

Flynn blinked with confusion as Rapunzel smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh, that's my good husband! I'm so proud of you for not getting into any trouble! Well, I'm going to go unpack, and then I'll tell you about my weekend. Sound good?"

"Uh-huh," Flynn replied, still befuddled. Rapunzel smiled and carried her bag back into the house. He went over to Ratigan. "You…you didn't rat me out? Why didn't you rat me out?"

Ratigan shrugged. "What can I say? When you started getting on your knees and pleading, I thought it looked pathetic. It was rather amusing."

Flynn smiled slyly. "That's not the ENTIRE reason, is it?"

"No, it pretty much is."

"No, no, no, I know this kind of stuff. You may be a villain, but you're still a guy. And all guys understand the concept of sticking with your bros."

"I have NO idea what you are talking about," Ratigan responded.

"Aw, c'mon, Ratti, admit it. Underneath that hard, bitter, dark chocolate shell of yours, you've got a sweet creamy filling of bro loyalty."

"Goodbye, Mr. Fitzherman."

Flynn chuckled and shrugged. "Whatever. See ya 'round, Professor R." He went back inside his house to meet back up with Rapunzel and hear her stories.

**Whew! Flynn really dodged a bullet there, didn't he? Although it WOULD be funny to see how Rapunzel would react to finding out her husband's camping chaos. **

**Hmm, what do YOU peeps think? Did Ratigan not tell on Flynn just because he was amused by his pathetic pleading, or is there some form of dude loyalty in our favorite former-rodent professor? Me personally? I have no idea, LOL!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed my crazy story here! Thank you all for reading, and please review!**

**All my best, DiscordantPrincess.**


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